So I have this idea rolling around in my noggin and I call it Variations On A Theme. Here's how it will work: Each month or so, I will post some sort of prompt here that can be manipulated a number of different ways. When you've completed said prompt, drop me a note or something with the link. Then, at the end of the month, I'll put up a list of all the ones that I know of, and we can compare results and congratulate each other and whatnot. So here's the first one; let's see if this works:

Write a fragment of a story about a character who is relatively young (under 40), who will die in a few years, but has no inkling of this. You, as author, do, though, and let that knowledge affect this story however it will affect the story.

After some bitter infighting, my little incestous group of friends and I reconciled in time to cobble together our annual "year in review", a collection of sometimes odd lists that never are consistent from year to year. This year, it centers almost completely around cinema and food, but isn't that what our culture's all about?


Good movies we watched in 2007:

No Country For Old Men
Once
There Will Be Blood
Zodiac
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Atonement
Sweeney Todd
Into The Wild
Offside
Gone Baby Gone
The Savages
Persepolis
This Is England
My Kid Could Paint That
I’m Not There
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
The King of Kong
An Unreasonable Man
The TV Set
Grindhouse
Brand Upon The Brain
Hot Fuzz
Deep Water
The Lives of Others
The Orphanage
The Darjeeling Limited
Eastern Promises
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
The Bourne Ultimatum
Hostel Part II
Ratatouille
Beowulf
Lake of Fire
Black Book
Syndromes and a Century


Movies we wanted to like in 2007:

Juno
Transformers
1408
Knocked Up
Away From Her


Movies we didn’t want to like in 2007:

Hairspray
Mr. Brooks
Dan In Real Life
Hot Rod
The Year of the Dog
Bratz: The Movie
Enchanted
Across the Universe
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
Music and Lyrics



Bad movies we watched in 2007:

Slipstream
Blood and Chocolate
I Know Who Killed Me
Perfect Stranger
Primeval

Terrible movies we watched in 2007:

Norbit
Epic Movie
The Ten Commandments
Good Luck Chuck
Sydney White
Daddy Day Camp
Lions for Lambs
Georgia Rule
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
The Number 23
Smokin’ Aces
Revolver
Wild Hogs
What Would Jesus Buy?
The Salon
The Seeker: The Dark is Rising








Books we read in 2007:

The Name of the Wind
Falling Man
Heyday
Exit Ghost
Soon I Will Be Invincible
What the Dead Know



Games we played in 2007:

Portal
Rock Band
Halo 3
BioShock
Pac-Man: Championship Edition
Jets ‘N’ Guns: Gold


Weird foods we ate in 2007:

Chocolate-covered Tootsie Rolls
Razzberry M&Ms
Crème D’Orange M&Ms
Beer Chips
Junior Mints Inside-Outs
Snickers Nut’n Butter Crunch
Take 5 Marshmallow
Bacon chocolate bar
Sonic’s Mac N’ Cheese Bites


Shittiest Halloween candy we received in 2007:

“umpkin Decoder with Pumpkin Candies”
“MilkMaid Caramel Apple Candy Corn
“Critter Goo”
“Make Your Own Gummi Pizza”
“Mr. Yummy Skeleton Pops”
“Ice Breakers Sours Pumpkins”
“Oh Rats! Blue Raspberry Flavored Gummy Rat”
“Eyeball Candy Rings”
“Gushing Gooey Eyes”
“3D Gum”
“Test Tubes Powder Candy”
“Buggin Glow Pop”
“Creepy Crawling Snakes Candy”
“Mallow Fries”



Jones Soda flavors we tried in 2007 on a dare:

Christmas Ham
Eggnog
Christmas Tree
Sugar Plum
Apple Sauce
Jelly Donut
Chocolate Coin
Latke
Candy Cane
Christmas Cocoa (surprisingly addictive!)
Candy Corn
Caramel Apple

I have a plain old normal whiny teenage blog now, for the truly, truly curious. Hopefully, it'll get longer.

[link]

I'd say enjoy, but I doubt it.

I've deleted the previous two journal entries, because, in my recent filibustering on the mature content policy, I lost sight of what's important. Me! Heh. Now we're back where we left off, creating an optional little pit where the truly curious can assemble an awkward composite of what I'm like. I know I said I'd stop doing these things...but someone I went to middle school with sent me this monster, and I had to fill it out just so I could say I did:

200: My name is:
Simone Sordino to all you folks.

199: I was born in:
Seattle, WA

198. I am:
trying to reach the spot on my back that itches.

197. My eye color is:
entirely dependent on whom you talk to.

195. My shoe size is:
fuckin’ huge

194. My ring size is:
unknown to me.

193. My Favorite Color is:
whatever is assigned the most hilarious name by Crayola or any paint company.

192. My height is:
six feet. People feel the need to point this out to me for some reason.

191. I’m allergic to:
foods I don’t like. Or so I tell the people who offer them to me.

190. I live in:
a suburb of Denver, in a house that, despite the extensive remodeling, was obviously built in the 70’s.

189. The last book I read:
Love Medicine

188. My bed time is:
determined by the mood of my parents.

187. First Screen name:
Clever Nickname

179. My favorite Holiday is:
an obscure one that somehow justifies a day off from school.

178. The perfect kiss is:
any contact with my lips whatsoever. Hey, I’m not lookin’ for Mr. Right. I’m lookin’ for Mr. Right Now.

177. The last band/artist listened to:
Christ, I think it was the Counting Crows. The person who was in the car with me had much stronger opinions than I did.

176. Last song that made you cry?:
Malibu gets me every single goddamned time.

170. What did you do last night?
Picked up Fatty Fatty Two-by-Four, Can’t Fit Through The Kitchen Door from the airport.

167. My skin's reaction to the sun is:
to burn in such a way that I don’t notice until a week later.

===============================
:::::I Do (YES)/Do Not (NO) Believe In:::::
===============================

143. Santa:
Seriously, holy shit. What’s so bad about your parents buying you presents because they love you?

142. Love at First Sight:
Yes, but it’s usually over by 20th sight or so.

141. Luck:
How the hell else have I managed to stay alive this long? Aside from caffeine of course.

140. Fate:
It’s more comforting that way.

140. Karma:
I like to induce it.

138. Aliens:
I’m open to any possibilities, but federal funding could be better used elsewhere.

137. Heaven:
I’m an atheist.

136. Hell:
Yet, as an atheist, I have a holier-than-thou attitude.

135. Ghosts:
Until I find a better explanation for that time backstage…

134. Horoscopes:
I don’t think any coworker would be dumb enough to ask for my advice, and the longest journey I’ve been on in months is from my bed to the couch.

133. Soulmates?

I did. The other one didn’t.
====================
:::::Which is Better?:::::
====================

129. Hugs or Kisses:
I just got dumped, so give me chocolate kisses so I can push the women’s movement back five years.

128. Drunk or High?
That’s like saying it’s better to get shot in the chest than shot in the head. Or saying Wal-Mart is better than K-Mart.

127. Phone or online:
If you’re online you can’t hang up on people….

126. Red heads or Brown hair:
They’re both lovely, thanks to the [smarmy British accent] professionals at John Frieda [/smarmy British accent]

125. Blondes or Brunettes:
Brunettes get better grades while blondes are out having more fun.

124. Lamb and tuna or peanut butter and jelly?
The fuck?? Lamb and tuna??? I don’t like jelly either.

122: sci-fi or horror:
Horror. It blows, but in an amusing way. Sci-fi just…blows.

121: eat at home or eat out:
No one at home knows how to cook.

120. Night or Day:
Night. It’s a lot harder for the budding perv who lives behind me to watch me undress. (There are no blinds or curtains on my windows. Don’t judge me!)

118. Curly or Straight hair:
I know firsthand that curly hair blows.
============
::: Last time? :::
============

103. Missed someone:
My whole damned life I’ve missed someone.

102. Hugged someone:
Don’t remember

101. Seen someone you haven't seen in a while?
A while, I guess.

========
:: MISC ::
========

90. Who's the ditziest person you know:
Er…me.

87. One thing I'm mad about right now:
I’m never mad about just one thing.

83. The last movie I saw in the theatre was:
Halloween. (Naked people galore!)

82. The thing I don't understand is:
how people in a certain town not too far from where I live can memorize the entire Bible but not remember to use their turn signals.

78. This past summer:
I got sick and stayed sick, went to quasi-college, and became an only child.

77. Next year: Susan and Mike settle down into a married life and Susan finds out she's pregnant. Lynette is battling Hodgkin's lymphoma and having problems with Stella. Bree is pretending to be pregnant with Danielle's baby so she can adopt the baby and pass it off as her own. Gabrielle is in an unhappy marriage with Victor and is continuing her secret affair with Carlos, and after faking a suicide attempt, Edie tries to keep her relationship with Carlos intact by blackmailing him.

76. Something I will really miss when I leave home: Not having to pay rent.


75. The thing I’m looking forward to the most is:
Some damn peace and quiet.


::::::What are you doing?:::::::
======================

71. Tomorrow: Susan plans a charades get-together, Lynette's mom attempts to comfort Lynette with brownies as she continues her chemotherapy and Bree spreads gossip to the other wives about Katherine.


72. Today: Shivering.


71. Next Summer: Supposedly, looking at colleges. I’ve been getting offers since eighth grade.


72. For Christmas:
Probably, Decorating. The. Damn. Christmas. Tree. All. By. Myself. Again. So. Fucking. Depressing.

====================

62. The person(s) who knows the most about me is:
Wouldn’t it be totally fucking awesome if that wasn’t me?

53. The one person who can't hide things from me is:
one hell of an idiot.

51. Right now I am talking to:
whoever sent me this thing, I guess.

48. I have a job:
which is really fucking depressing, and for which I don’t get paid.

47. I have a pet[s]:
Welsh Terrier.


46. I wish:
I may, I wish I might….

45. The worst sound in the world:
Opera, which is coincidentally also the most expensive sound in the world.


44. The ONE person that made me cry the most is:
a total dick.

43. Have you ever done drugs:
Because covenant-controlled neighborhoods are just swarming with drug dealers.

42. Have you ever smoked?
Thanks to the fine folks at Old Chicago on Friday nights, I don’t need to!

42. Which parent are you most close with?
Right now, they’re both annoying the living shit out of me.


39. What's your favorite movie?
Brick

36. Last person you talked to on the phone?
James from Allllabaayama lookin’ fer a Mr. Saaardaaayno, wundrin’ if hay’d be inneristed in spaawwwnsorin’….

35. Someone you've gotten closer with this year:
Hershey.

33. My favorite piece of clothing is:
This top I’ve got that magically makes me look like I’m not a fat pig.

32. My favorite sport is:
either nonexistent or not yet invented.

27: Last person(s) you got mad at:
Manipulative little slut who ended my relationship.

26. My worst experience was:
I’ll go with the time a cheerleader beat me up for being bi, then my vice principal slapped me across the face an hour later, then a week or so later my boyfriend dumped me over the bruises on my stomach.

22. The all-time best movie is:
Didn’t You Just Ask Me That Question?

21. The best feeling in the world is:
*sigh* When a man and a woman love each other very much…

20. So, about them Canadians:
Oh, wait till you see the neighbors they’ve got.

19. The most annoying thing ever is/are:
color guard! (From my past)

18. The most annoying people you know are:
guard girls! (Also from my past)

17. I lose respect for people who:
act like a color guard is a hotbed of Machiavellian political maneuvering, when all we’re doing is opening for a beauty pageant! (Again, past experience that I’m still pissed about.)

16. I hate:
people, in general.

15. I Love:
it when I’m right.

14. My Favorite Day is:
GoGurt Day! *high fives to all Family Guy fans* Heh, I don’t even like GoGurt.

13. My Favorite month:
not February. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s the longest month of the year.

12. My Favorite band/artist is:
Nirvana, because despite me being a wee pipsqueak for most of that decade, I’m still stuck in the 90s.

11. The worst pain I ever felt:
Still feeling it…. see question 26.

10. My favorite phrase?
”For no apparent reason.” This seems to be how I begin or end a majority of my sentences.

9. Who do you want to go out with?
At this point, I’m sellin’ to anyone willing to buy.

8. Your favorite actor/actress is:
Marcia Cross.

7. Your weakness:
My ribcage.

6. Inside joke between you and one of your friends:
"It's drinkin' Tuesday!"

5. How many best friends do you have:
Well, the very superlative implies that I have only one.

4. Your phone number:
Oh yeah. That’s information I should disclose.

3. Who broke your heart?
Is it just me, or has this question or some variation of it been asked roughly twenty-five times already?

2. I filled out 200 questions because:
I am pathetic.

1. What do you hate most about yourself?
Everything, thanks for asking, probably best for you if you leave now.

That obnoxious quiz thing was fun, but I've got a better idea. What better way to gain a trivial amount of understanding into another human being than a sampling of the preposterous things that pop out of their mouths? An acquaintance of mine compiled this list she apparently kept (she has much more free time than me) and emailed it to me. So, without further ado...

Simone's Best Lines, Out-Of-Context and Otherwise, 2006

"Correction. Alleged cannibal."

"Are socks in fashion this season?"

"This cake wasn't originally meant to be erotic."

"I'd give your life to save this country."

"This lucky quarter is for shit!"

"Maybe if I scream at my kids in the lobby of Burger King, it will help them become better people."

"This music today doesn't make you go crazy and kill people the way it used to."

"I can't believe Columbia Pictures stole my idea of making a sequel to Men In Black."

"I'm glad I don't have to look at the passengers in coach."

"I think it's great that the media don't focus on how Bush is crippled."

"Boy, you try to have sex with someone and suddenly you're Hitler."

"I know what you're thinking: Not another miracle oil additive."

"I hope we can still be friends who never see each other."

"This is going to sound really racist, but bear with me."

"Wow, that sure was a great Black History Month."

"How come I never got any credit for all the times I didn't run anyone over?"

"Lord, please give me a sign if you want me to spare those paperboys in the basement."

"I dare say, the dean will be quite flustered by my cheeky send-up of him in the campus humor magazine."

"Is that all I am to you? The man who installed your carpet?"

"Losing money at that casion sure was fun!"

"It's not just a pony, it's a magic pony."

"I totally outlived Jesus!"

"I'm thinking about getting into self-mutilation."

"Congress must be so stoned to come up with all those cool laws."

"If you're going to laugh at me, perhaps I won't seduce you after all."

"How come it's always me who should be ashamed of myself?"

"I've got a salt tooth."

"I'm sorry about your father's death, but we need to break up."

"I feel really bad about strangling that puppy."

"All I want is my son's life back, or $2 million."

"It's the emotional burns I'm more worried about."

"If I were a vampire, would I be wearing this stupid fanny pack?"

"Oh, yeah right. And I'm the regional manager at Taco Bell."

"If I could pick any super power, it would be the ability to relate to people on a personal level without terror or shame."

"It's like beating a dead unicorn."

"Yo mama is so fat, she's at risk for diabetes, high blood pressure, and other obesity-related complications."

"Birds: the fish of the sky."

"Don't think of it as back hair, think of it as the opposite of not-back-hair."

"The spirit of the Pope touches me inappropriately every night."

"If I had to choose, I'd say blow up Norway."

"Damn kids and their damn murderous rampages."

"She always gets emotional around her father's killer."

"The sensation of victory was quickly supplanted by the sensation of falling through a rickety old factory roof."

"You shouldn't marry a porpoise."

"Knives are not toys. Knife-toys are."

"Those monks were assholes."

"She expected death to be less deathy."

"How can one pasty, insecure fantasy writer go through so many fucking tissues?"